Friends aren't always easy

It's true. In general, any type of relationship we have will not be peaceful all the time. There is always going to be miscommunication, ghosting, disconnection, or any mishap. Just because we may not be in a romantic relationship with someone does not mean we don't need to put any effort into it. A lot of effort and care needs to go in every relationship we have in our lives.

I will sort of bounce off my last post on friendship because I just have so much to say! I saw this caption from these two best friends sharing a raw audio of their conversation about what was going on between them. It was honest, intimate, and you can hear how difficult it was. Friendships are not just about being there to gossip with or there to party with or to talk to when one is feeling lonely. Friendships are about intimacy, love, looking out for each other, and reciprocity. So how can we maintain our friendships to make sure both and all parties are feeling cared for?

Communication - This is pretty obvious because communication is such an important part in every relationship. We need to feel comfortable to talk about our feelings. Not only positive ones, but the hard ones as well. Sometimes a friend will say something out of pocket, and if that happens, then the other friend can communicate their feelings if they were hurt. If we push feelings away and not discuss them when we feel hurt, then we are losing chances in creating a better foundation for a relationship. By being honest about feelings and actually putting the effort into telling the other person, we are then showing how much we care. If we didn't actually care, then we would brush it off and potentially lose a moment where we make our relationship deeper. Be open to sharing your feelings, but also be open to hearing your friends' feelings as well.

Tangible Effort - This is not about gifts, this is not about daily calls (unless those are your love languages). Actually, love languages are the perfect example. I think it's important to know people's love languages in friendships as well. That way, we know how we can show them love and how they can feel that love. Sometimes a person needs those gifts, or weekly hangouts, or occasional facetimes. It really depends on the person, but showing that effort to people reassures them that you care about them and love them. Even in friendships we need those reassurances! Making an effort is important and will make friendships everlasting. 

Knowing when it's over - Like all relationships, they may not last and that is okay. Sometimes you grow out of each other and are not compatible anymore. Sometimes your lives get busy and may not care to make time for certain friends. It happens! Friendship break-ups are actually very difficult and are sometimes harder to accept, but they happen and that's okay. What we need to realize is our worth, what we deserve, and where reciprocity is needed for us. If they can't show you those things, it may be time to revaluate those friendships. 

Understanding - Always, always. Our lives can be a mess, we can be a mess. Imagine having family to take care of, a partner, a job, school, and multiple friends? It's quite difficult to maintain all of these in a harmonious way. Life is messy! It's important to recognize and remind ourselves of this when we feel a friend cannot give us the attention we may want. We've gotta meet halfway with people and if you can figure that out, then you've got a wonderful friendship there. In every relationship, every situation, trying to understand each other plays a huge role in maintaining that relationship so that you are not going in circles. 

Each of these aspects plays into every one of our relationships. There is soooo much more to say, but I'll leave it at this: Your platonic relationships deserve support, love, and care. They deserve time, effort, and attention. And you deserve all of these. Maintaining relationships is difficult, especially during a pandemic, so be kind to yourself and know you are trying your best. Thanks for reading!