My experience with toys is a bit lower than I would like. Good toys that are actually good for your wonderful body parts can be quite expensive, but worth it. I have bought from Good Vibrations and Honey Play Box, which both have definitely not disappointed. I'll put the links of the ones I have and give a short review, in case any of you want an opinion!
*Disclaimer* I'll be talking about this research on sexual orgasms with folks who have vulvas. It's very binary and honestly, many studies that relate to sexuality, sadly, play into the gender binary. Let's fight for more studies that break down that fake binary!!!! But I'll be using more neutral and factual words in order to make it less binary.
I was watching Love Island earlier (I know, I know. Reality TV shows..BLEH. But Love Island? Frickin' entertaining!) and they were throwing out facts at a game, right. They mentioned how many people with vulvas don't experience orgasms during penis-vulva intercourse and many of the contestants on Love Island were talking about how they basically all have faked an orgasm! You should've seen my face when I heard that. Not really out of shock, but more disappointment on how our society has let folks down. So, I looked up if this was true and sure as hell, it was. This study in Finland did five surveys about sex with people who had vulvas. Give it a quick read if you'd like to know the percentage!
The reason I bring this up is because our society has done a complete disservice on teaching and informing folks on how to have an orgasm, especially those with vulvas. There is always a focus on those with penises and also mainstream porn makes it look like you can give aggressive thrusts and your partner will burst out an orgasm!
Anyways, my point is that sex toys can sometimes be a great way to see what your body likes and how you can reach climax on your own! They can be used personally and also used with partners to add a bit of spice. Toys can also give you different sensations that you can't really feel with your hands. Alright, enough of that, let's actually talk about them!
My very first trip to a sex toy shop, I went with my friend and we were just very shy and awkwardly looking around. Soon enough, we were introduced to some beginner vibrators that made it less awkward and more fun! My first toy was this small, battery operated vibrator from Good Vibrations and it was a great first one. It did the job and made me excited to find other toys! Definitely don't like battery operated ones as much anymore, but this one was a great one to start with.
Recently, I've taken a liking to Honey Play Box because some of my favorite sex educators talk about them all the time! I've gotten this vibrator/dildo, which the vibrations are a bit intense for me, but dildos are always fun. It's also double-sided, which means partner play!!! It comes with different settings and a small controller, so it can be used in a lot of different ways. Also want to say that if you share toys with your partners, make sure you're being safe and clean while having fun! It's good to read up on how to clean toys and such. Luckily, the toys I have gotten have given instructions on how to do that.
Alright, now my faaaavorite one so far: The Seduction. Sounds intense, right? That's how I felt at least! Even when it arrived, I was like, "What the fuck did I buy?!" Hahah, it actually turned out so great and I will never look back. Sometimes toys seem a bit intense and scary, but once you try it out, hopefully you'll get excited and feel great! This toy not only has a small vibrating part, but it also sucks!! I tried it on my arm at first and accidentally gave it a hicky...oops! Don't try it on your arm obviously unless you just want to see how it feels, but beware: IT literally SUCKS. Feels great on the vulva, though, so I highly recommend this one. Honey Play Box also has great deals and you can for sure find promo codes to get a good discount. If you need any help with that, let me know!
Now for some other great sex toy shops that deserve some love that are queer or BIPOC owned:
enby - Black and Trans owned shop that focuses on toys that feel good for other trans folks and enbies. They sell all kinds of fun stuff so give them a look! They recently were being sued for using the word "enby" by some white folks (wildflower smh), so please consider supporting them.
New York Toy Collective - Queer owned shop that sells silicone dildos, packers, play kits, and more!
Feelmore - Black owned! They've got all kinds of things, like dildos, straps, lube, and more! They also have a shop in Oakland and Berkeley I believe.
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