Ownership

Recently, Chella Man (instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chellaman/) talked about ownership by using an analogy with owning a puppy. He said, "Sometimes I see a puppy and instantly feel a flush of happiness. But not as happy as I would if I suddenly owned that puppy. If it were mine, my immediate reaction would be euphoria. Is this because I believe my happiness would never end if I had more time with it? Or is it the fact that I would own the puppy?" He went on to say how this idea can play into human relationships and how we can unlearn the feeling of ownership and rather learn the feeling of abundance.

After reading this, I thought about how ownership plays into every part of our lives. Whether that be a puppy, or an outfit we see on the street, or a partner that we expect to only love us and no one else. Let's say we do see an outfit on the street we love, we then wish we had that outfit (which is when the feeling that we don't have enough comes in), and then feel jealousy (because that person has what we want), and then leaving us with envy. Like...literally we could have just stopped at loving that outfit, but instead we WANT that outfit, we want to OWN that outfit. Because of those feelings, that sensation of love for that outfit has now changed to the negative sensation of envy. This then affects our moods, our body, the way we feel after seeing something we enjoyed looking at. 

When this plays into relationships, it gets messy. Jealousy and envy really bring the worst out of people and in our society, that is accepted and expected. I watch too much reality tv shows (oops), BUT the way they see relationships and the way they go about situations is quite brutal to watch. And this is stuff a lot of people are watching! It influences society and makes it okay for people to act a certain way or be expected to act a that way.

Jealousy can be a nasty trait, but it is also a natural one that we can't help but to feel. The part that makes it nasty is how a person goes about that feeling of jealousy - it's the ACTION. Man, the difference between words and actions and how that difference can affect the situation is so important and so different. Because we can say one thing, but then do the opposite. 

Anyways, the point of the post was to talk about ownership. If we did not feel like we had to own certain items, or animals, or people, then we can feel abundant in what we have right now. We can feel happy about the moment we are in, instead of wishing it was different. We can appreciate what we have in front of us and appreciate the fact that we can see it in front of us, instead of derailing towards envy. Appreciating something without feeling like you have to own it can change the way we view our relationships and the way we consume things in this world. 

I hope that made sense! I'd also like to add that..we can think all of these ideas and talk about them, but the most important part is that action and it can be difficult to do that part. I have now realized that unlearning certain ideas we have been taught takes a lot of effort, you have to consciously make the choice to change, and that is pretty difficult in a capitalistic society that distracts you in every way possible. It is worth it though, once you get the hang of it. I just want to say, practice unlearning with self compassion because if not, you'll just fall into a pool of self-criticism, which is the opposite of what we want in that process. Hope you're having a good morning/day/night!