The Start

Sex & Tranquility is about understanding, compassion, openness, love, and all the magical feelings a human can have in any relationship, whether it is emotional, sexual, lust, familial, or friendship! Talking about these forms of relationships and feelings have been so grounding and powerful for me these past few years because it is something I have been wanting for the longest time. I'm sure many people have felt the feeling of loneliness and feeling misunderstood, especially when it came to personal relationships - and that is something I want to share with people. The reminder that they are not alone in this world, that they will find people (or find it in themselves) to feel loved, to feel special, listened to, and cared for. 

When I was about 9 or 10, I learned what the feeling lonely was. I was new at a school and many of us know how that goes. I eventually made friends and was feeling good at that time. But loneliness and hurt came later when I was 12-13, when I essentially lost all of my friends for really no reason. I felt uncared for, unloved, unseen and that continued until high school and throughout. Those feelings shifted when I started high school because I met friends I loved, but at the same time, those feelings turned into feeling highly misunderstood, lonely (again), and angry. I felt so angry, so...alone. 

This was when I started to become who I am today, I feel like. I was super into my style, my movies/shows, my music, super into Tumblr and blogging (when I started my first blog). This all allowed me to create a space where I can be me, but at the same time..it was not a safe space when it came to my sexuality and my thiiirsty want to have my first "boyfriend." 

My idea of what a relationship was supposed to feel like was extremely influenced by all the media and all the relationships that were in my circle. I highly romanticized relationships, but also was confused by that when the relationships in front of me were not perfect as they were in movies or shows. And also...they were not the relationships I actually wanted. I did not know what I wanted in relationships and what they meant, but I did learn something about my sexuality when, honestly, I started watching porn. Porn actually turned me GAY. Lol, I never thought about that till now...

Anyways, clearly I was very influenced by what I saw as a kid and then when I started college, I realized, "What the fuuuuck was I thinking?!" I started taking sexuality courses, ones about relationships, and sociology, and family. It completely changed my perspectives and my wants and learned why I was so very influenced (even though I'm still working on it all). I also realized how interested and in love I was/am with sexuality and relationships and what that means for people. Because wholly shit, if you were or are in a bubble like me, then you will be blown away by all the different types of relationships you can have with people and also figure out what it is that YOU want in a relationship. It is so healing and powerful and the best feeling I could have ever learned. 

So this blog will be all about that. All about feelings, sex, relationships, humanness, etc. I will be sharing things that I learned, my thoughts, my questions, other people's ideas, and we will be learning together! Because there is a whole world about sexuality that has been hidden from us and I'm sooo excited to talk about it!!